Moving Through Stages: Wellness is a Process

• Dr. James O. Prochaska, a psychologist at the University of Rhode Island, collaborated in a study of behavior and helped develop the six stages of change. Categorizing stages of change helps a person deterimine what attitudes and actions are related . Knowing the stage you are in prepares you for a forward move toward a goal. I renamed the stages to add an emotional component since they are powerful motivators. Reading these descriptions may help you figure where you stand on the “readiness scale.” It can also help you understand other people’s journey in case you are frustrated by other people. Remember, you can only change yourself. But we an always be a positive influence on others.
  
  Stage 1
  Rejection (of Self), Denial
  I know I should…but, I’ll worry about it later.
  
  Stage 2
  Humility
  I am tired of this… I can’t ignore it any longer.
  
  Stage 3
  Overwhelm
  Boy, this is going to take a lot of work. There are so many details to consider and plan for …
  
  Stage 4
  Transition
  Here it goes… I am doing some different things…
  
  Step Five
  Persevere
  It’s becoming more routine, but I relapse every so often…practice makes perfect
  
  Step 6
  Sustain
  I’ve been at it for quite some time now so my new habits are now old habits.

Let's take a closer look:

Stage 1
Rejection (of Self), Denial
I know I should…but, I’ll worry about it later.

Ouch! Do we really reject ourselves? Yes. Some people are in clear denial that they need to make a serious change in their lives and others usually have to have a heart to heart discussion about it. But, for the most part, we are procrastinators. And that does not demonstrate high regard for ourselves. Whatever we are putting off now, generally beocmes amplified in the future. We do it in small ways. We ignore our need to save money or be more caring in a relationship. We also do it in big ways, addictions being a prime example.

Stage 2
Humility
I am tired of this… I can’t ignore it any longer.

This is the point of "rock bottom." You can no longer lie to yourself. You may not know how to proceed from here, but you have to admit it the denail has gone on long enough.

Stage 3
Overwhelm
Boy, this is going to take a lot of work. There are so many details to consider and plan for …

Here is the place of fear and hesitation. Once someone decides it is time to do something new, it is scary and uncomfortable. This is an excellent time to plan, research, get expert opinions, and gather support.

Stage 4
Transition
Here it goes… I am doing some different things…What I used to call sacrifice is now drive.

Action truly begins here. This is where the plans are put into place. Back in stage three the feelings are, "I have to give up this, and this, and make a lot of sacrifices." But during this stage that kind of language transforms into, "I know the end result will be good. I am doing something that is beneficial to myself and perhaps a lot of other people in my life. My goals are motivating me."

Step Five
Persevere
It’s becoming more routine, but I relapse every so often…practice makes perfect.

New patterns are becoming comfortable. It is becoming easier. Don't berate yourself if you slip backward in a relapse. The pattern is easier to return to as the nervous system is rewiring itself to maintain this change. We may go back to other stages often, but understanding these stages allows you to get back on track faster. During this stage of perseverence, making minor adjustments to your action plan helps you remain focused.

Step 6
Sustain
I’ve been at it for quite some time now so my new habits are now old habits.

I prefer to say pattern instead of habit because "habit" is usually aligned with negative behaviors. Although there are good habits along with bad habits, the word "pattern" suggests options and possibilites. There is a future with improvement. When a new behavior is sustained, helping others is a great contribution. As you recall your journey through the stages you can be a patient mentor.

Understanding these stages makes journaling more productive. Writing about personal growth in each stage illustrates the experience so future endeavors can be pursued the similar inspiration.

Ready to move through a new stage?
References:
http://www.proactive-coach.com/resolutions/theory/index.htm
http://www.uri.edu/research/cprc/TTM/StagesOfChange.htm

So Whatever Happened to Clients #2?

They were the married couple with a new baby who felt their life had just stopped. They were very delighted to raise their baby daughter but the new routine became overwhelming. They want guidance for their future plans as a family. This entails their financial stability and how to allocate their funds based on their goals.

So, Harry and Sally, feeling tired and overwhelmed, want to come up with clear cut goals. They feel somewhat unprepared because they both come from families where success looks easy. Living three hours away from their hometown, Harry and Sally don't want to burden their family with questions about money and maturity concerns that they feel they should feel confident about.

What stages do you think they have been going through? Are they in a "holding pattern" in one stage? This is a very normal transition from single life to marriage and parenting, but they want to do it well. They have a few emotional blocks from childhood that they are comfortable with, but now they are in a new level of discomfort nudging them toward a breakthrough.

We'll address their situation in the next online issue. Until then, visualize yourself entering a new stage for any goal you want to work on. And enjoy the process!

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